[TRANS] Early Spring, Irene

She’s called ‘Irene’. She is also called ‘Red Velvet’s Irene’. There are, of course, people who call her ‘Joohyun-ah”. 1991-er born in spring. On an early summer-like day.

The weather changed completely while you were shooting.
I heard. They said it was raining outside.

You don’t sound very excited about it. What’s on your mind right now? 
I think it’s my first time coming by myself today.

Ah, it’s your first time doing an interview on your own. 
My heart was fluttering, it was simply just fluttering. I couldn’t sleep at all last night. 

I think I know that feeling, but it’s true that I actually don’t at all.
By myself… Because I’m by myself….

Don’t try to be careful with what you say. Just be comfortable. 
In the past, doing anything on my own made me uneasy. As time passed, I came to think a lot about what it means to express myself. I thought a lot about how to express this shoot. However, I didn’t get the thought that I would be lonely or uneasy because my members were not here with me. (The interview paused for a moment. Irene was looking up at the ceiling. On a rainy, Sunday evening. A lady, who was forcing back tears, was sitting with me.)

How were you as a child? 
When I was young, my very first dream was to become an announcer. In fifth grade, an unnie I knew in 6th grade was the announcer for the school’s broadcasting club. That unnie looked so cool. So I told the unnie that oh, I wanted to try, and she told me I needed to take a test. There was a writing portion and a performance portion. On the writing, there were common knowledge questions such as what is the date of the presidential election. But I passed. I got to be an announcer for one year.

There are people who quickly go between ‘I want to’ and ‘I am doing this’. 
That’s true. If there’s something that I want to do, I just experienced it. I wanted to learn makeup so I did, I wanted to become a stewardess so I immediately looked up cram schools for it.

It’s becoming almost 2 years since Red Velvet was revealed to the world, correct? It’s probably a lot different from the times when you were able to do whatever you wanted to. There are ‘people’ watching you.
I believe that people judge me the way they do because I look like that to them…. (She stopped talking once more). But it doesn’t completely not bother me. I try not to make it obvious. I want people to not know me. Actually, I get influenced a lot [about what others think of me]. But I always think. So that I can love myself more, I can make myself less lonely, I can make myself stronger, like that. (The interview paused for a long time. The editor started talking on their own in order for her to be able to catch her breath).

At first, I couldn’t differentiate Irene’s face from the other’s. But one moment I started to, and should I say that there were shadows on your face? If there is light, there has to be shadows; it’s just an honest statement. How can a human being live within just their concept and character. Although you look like you’re having the most fun on stage, when you come off the stage, or after you’ve come off the stage, you seem like a person who really needs her own time and space.
Yes.

Do you like yourself?
I always write down how I feel about myself. In the past, I constantly wrote a daily journal. These days, I make short notes.

When you were given the concept of writing memos in the notebook, there was a reason that clicked. You know the difference between typing away on a keyboard and pressing down on a pen? 
I really do. I don’t leave my home often, and the only place I do go is the cafe in front of the house. When I go there, I take my pencil case and notebook. It’s an empty and quiet place so I stay there for hours writing things down.

Do you have a pen or paper you like?
I thought about that. I wondered why I don’t have any ‘I like this exact pen’ or ‘I like that pen’ thoughts. Why do I not have anything along the lines of ‘I like exactly this’ or ‘I like exactly that’? Why do I not have anything of my own?

What was the conclusion to your thoughts?
Every pen is different. The shape, color, and feeling is all different. I like this pen for this reason, and I like that pen for that reason. I thought that there was no reason in having to only like just one.

I suddenly thought of this question. How did you end up becoming a singer?
In my freshmen year of high school, my friend asked me to go with her to an audition so I did. But I didn’t make it. That’s when I knew. I really want to do this. I didn’t know that I would cry so much on the spot where I failed my audition.

Your personality of having to try everything comes out there as well.
That’s correct. Then suddenly one day, I got a phone call that they wanted to sign a contract with me. It was on the way to eat ddukbokki after self-study when I got the call. I just stood there [when I got the call].

Hello? Hello? (laughs)
I remember that location and the air. To me, the current ‘me’, and the things that I feel right now is important. It all fades away with time. That’s why I write it down. Very specifically. I don’t want to forget why I liked this song so much.

How about your face? Do you know your face very well?
My face? I don’t really look in the mirror.

Really?
When I brush my teeth, I look only at my mouth. I brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth. During those times, I don’t look at something else. I just look at my mouth. I look at my mouth, rinse, then come out [of the bathroom]. I don’t look at my face much. So I don’t realize when something happens to my skin. Someone has to tell me, “Unnie, you have something here” for me to know. When I go to the hair salon to do my hair, I only look at my hair. My attention doesn’t head to somewhere else.

Do you have a feeling about how you look?Don’t I look a little prim and haughty?

You also seem like a face that easily gets erased.
Do I really?

A face that seems to change without really knowing, should I say? I can’t really catch it. Truthfully, Red Velvet as a team has that ambiguity to it as well. Not because you guys don’t necessarily have a publicly hit song, but you guys seem to purposely make yourselves unrecognizable and don’t stick to anything. So you make people want to keep looking at you. Irene also seems to have a face that fits being an actress. 
I did try acting (laughs).

Why are you laughing?
It’s nothing (laughs). I filmed a web drama, and I really liked it. What I got to feel while I read the script, and getting to hear the director explain to me this expression and that expression was enjoyable.

How’s your voice?
My voice is quiet. And slow.

But it’s not frustrating. Because you don’t mumble but speak clearly. You’re a person that listens to other’s words well, right?
Right. People around me tell me, “Your expression when you listen to other people is really good”. I’m not really sure what they mean, but they say that.

How old do you perceive yourself? 
Right now? (Speechless for quite a while). I don’t think I think about my age.

That’s fun. When I try to think of a man who may look good next to you, I imagine someone a lot older. 
I like someone warm. Someone whose gaze or actions are warm.

It seems different from someone who’s always just good to you.
That’s right. I don’t really like the whole pulling out the chair and taking care of me thing.

Someone like a big tree.
That seems right. I never knew how to express it so I just said ‘a big dog’ (laughs) like person. I really enjoy taking pictures of trees.

What kind of pictures do you have the most of on your phone? 
The sky and trees. (Suddenly takes out her phone and shows me her gallery). I look up at the sky often. When I was a trainee, I used to ride the swings for a really long time. I realized this is my first time talking about these things. Talking about myself like this….

That’s what interviews are for.
When practice ended, I swung on the swings for three to four hours. I looked up at the skies then. The stars were so beautiful. After that, I ended up looking at the sky more often. Even if it involves making time, I look up at the sky.

Do you have a season you like?
When the cherry blossoms bloom.

Your birthday is around that time, right? 
Yes. There are a lot of cherry blossom trees near Lake Bomun in Kyungju. I would always go down there with my family to ride bikes. I heard it’s raining a lot today, but it’s still spring to me. It still feels like spring to me.

Summer is coming soon.
I also like it when it snows. I didn’t get to see a lot of snow in Daegu. After becoming a trainee, I came up to Seoul, and there was so much snow falling. (Now that I look at it, the sandwich on the table is still there).

You said you were hungry earlier.
I’m fine now.

What does Irene want to become?
I always think. If I were to become a stronger person. If I were to be stronger….

trans credit: jinhee @ fyeah-redvelvet!
original source: GQ Korea